Reflections 1 - Parenting seminar

Shepherding a child's heart by Ted

Reflections

"The heart is a well spring of life", rightly said. Our actions, words and motivations all came about from the heart. Ted reminded us that we should not simply deal with the wrong behaviour, but examine the heart of the child - what resulted in that incorrect attitude or behaviour.

Behavioural tools are not ineffective altogether. We agreed that they are still useful, especially for younger children who have not been empowered reasoning skills, and who have limited capacity to communicate their desires and thoughts. Immediate correction of wrong behaviour is deem necessary for forgetful minds.But once they reach appropriate age of interaction, we should have heart to heart talks.

My take home for the day's seminar has got to do with God's word at the core. Ted taught us using the Bible - God's word to examine issues relating children. There are so many things God has to say about teaching and correcting children, relationships, and life matters. Are we interested to hear and know tha God has to say concerning us, or do we take matters in to our own hands?

I realized I know so little of the Bible, or perhaps, been so forgetful after all these years been a christian. I feel so inadequate and not equipped to use the word of God effectively, for myself now, and perhaps in the future, for Nathan! If I were to carry out parental counselling or discipline, how am I going to use the Bible to teach him if I am so unsure myself as to where I can find the right verseor passage to use?

I just know I got to start right now!! Find a devotional material and start memorizing verses again. Wait a minute, that's supposed to be my 2007 resolution anyway, what have I done so far - nothing. Oh dear God, please help.

Finally, the rod of correction.

Chong and I have talked about using a cane on Nathan many times, but have yet bought it. Chong said he's finally convinced he won't spare the rod - cos God's said it " Spare the rod, spoil the child.' not just a worldly view, mind you.

There are cautions about the rod, how we can misuse it, in our anger, or simply abuse the child with it. It has to be taken at measure, timely, purposefully, lovingly, and thoughtfully. How tough it is to lift the cane on th child, considering all these .... but failing which, it'snot the end of parenting, God is gracious.

Discussions with other like-minded parents at the seminar was insightful. Those in our group have more years of experience with older kids. As they shared about their challenges over the yrs, in my heart, I was praying, dear God, help us to be godly parents, cos we can never achieve the standards you set for us, but by your mercy and grace, bring up our child to know you, glorify you and enjoy you. True, there can be countless numbers of goals we can set for our child, but we should be focused on just one thing, what it mean to live under God's rule, everything else that we do should be subsumed in it.